Alright, alright…delayed blogging over here on Wisdom! I would take full blame, but we all know I’m a bit above taking blame for much of anything *snorts* so therefor, I will blame some bald guy trying to hook up with a vase. *shrugs* Works for me…not so sure about him though.

Anyway….apparently the ever lovely Bridget decided to do a post about freebies and how great they are. Now, here is where I get to step in. Because really….she thinks I don’t like freebies. I do, very much so. I own a couple myself and have even been known to join groups to get them from designers I like and tend to drop a boatload of l’s in their store anyway. My biggest gripe about freebies isn’t really the actual item, it’s how people treat said item!

That’s right..I’m talking freebie abuse! You know who you are. You get them and stockpile those freebies like all clothing designers on the grid will suddenly cease ever making anything again. Then! To make matters even worse, you either don’t wear them or you do wear them but when you take them off to put on some other freebie, they are lost forever in the abyss called “inventory.” Later off you go happily to get even more freebies. Later, you turn to your best friend and say “ohh..my inventory is a mess and I cannot find anything.” Why is this? Cause you are a freebie junkie! To make it even more interesting, you are also a pack rat who neglects her inventories desperate plead for organization!

Wait…I think this is turning into a rant. I would like to add this disclaimer now….freebies are good. Get them, enjoy them, blog them, share where they came from. Tell ME about them! Then for the love of all things in your inventory…ORGANIZE THEM!

(see freebie: Pixeldolls Limelights Gift set (given out through both the Pixeldolls group and also by wholesales *cough* shameless plug *cough* ME at R&M Creations; hair by FreeSpirit called lyrlia and FREE (or was, the bargain might be done by now); skin by Wax Poetic called Emo Queen Frostine ala skin fair (and for anyone interested, it’s made by Roberta Beauchamp who has some pretty cool skins and can be found Mischief Cove and I know this because B and spent the whole bloody morning chasing her down until it dawned on me…meh…different blog); Chim that you can’t see…FREE ala a friend; shape is mine so FREE!)

And no..that is not me raising my arm trying to reach for the orb button…really, it’s not!

It would seem that some condemn the slightly seasoned for wearing Freebie clothes. However, let me just say, it’s not all just for the unknowing newbie. Oh, sure, freebie or low cost clothing for those who are but babes in SL seem outstanding. However, a bit of sim hopping and seeing what’s really out there, one would soon learn that seamless clothing is available.
Don’t get me wrong. I love the Freebies!
Not to mention that Freebie and low cost clothing is a great way to sell those “first try” clothes by young slfashion designers. However, you must admit, there are many freebie clothes that get tossed by the way side once you gave in and purchased your first few $L.

So, what is the scoop. Good or bad?
Is that 1$L outfit hot or not?
Is that Free Birdy Store dress from ‘06 still the coolest thing eva?
Is quality equal to $L?

Well, sometimes, very much so.
Other times, not so much.

I have some great clothing that I have dropped more $L on that I care to say. However, I admit, right here, right now, I do still have some newbie clothes! *dun, dun, duuuuunnn*

Yes. Yes, it is true. I, Bridget-the-shopping-addict, who has been known to buy a single outfit for 1000$L and drop 500$L on a single pair of “OhMyGosh!” boots, am cheap. Yup, I would rather drop a couple of 1000$L at a 100$L per outfit sale and come home with a chaotic inventory then buy a single outfit for 1000$L. I am not saying I won’t do it (obviously). Some of the clothes out there are definitely quality. Detailed, layered, original, flexi, and much work put into it.
My point is this:
Until you reach Platinum Diva Shopper level, you can hit some great free – 1$L – 5$L – 10$L shops.

Just make sure to keep your inventory organized as you go or your friends will brag on how neat their closet is and try to keep you from freebies, forcing you to orb them. Really, organizing your hawt low cost clothing is a safety issue.

(Certain letters removed from certain words to avoid being found when certain people are searching for certain things. Of this, I am certain…. That means I put a dash {-} where a vowel {a e i o u} would go)

Ok, seriously now. I have it quite clear where I stand on group invitations. I have it quite clear right on the very front of my profile that I have an entire tab in picks dedicated to my group-invite stance. I changed it around a bit from when I initially wrote it. I cleaned it up a bit, but it is still oh-so-clear. And you would think if one is going to take the time to send you a group invite while you are not even on line, they would see on your profile where you wrote “SEE picks BEFORE sending me YOUR GROUP INVITES”

Now I realize there are many people who are looking for the cartoon stripper and the interactive pose-ball s-x animation. I know there are slweddings, and slove, and “escorts” that will escort you to straight to animation squirt. BUT honestly, not all vain avatars want to do you or be done by you. Not all avatars are looking for a partner to rock their sluniverse. Just because someone takes the time to have a good shape, good skin, good hair, good clothes, and good ao does not mean they want a good cartoon p-rn. It does not even mean they want bad cartoon p-rn. It does not mean they want to join your club-group with all those “dancers” and “entertainers”. It does not mean they want to partner someone and be invited to your 70’s Swinger’s group. It does not mean they want to be a part of your nasty attachment group IM.

Oh, and let me add, looking for a place to go dancing, exploring a romantic spot or just standing on the same SIM as you does not necessarily mean one is looking for slhookup!

“What has set her off?”, you may be asking.
Well let me just show you…
In my profile I state, CLEARLY, to check picks before sending group invites to me.
(SEE picks BEFORE sending me YOUR GROUP INVITES)

In my picks I state, CLEARLY, that I do NOT want to be a part of your s-x club, romantic beach, slp-rn or whatever you are choosing to call it.

Although the number of groups invites actually have been reduced, I still received this:
(Edited to protect the guilty)
T C has invited you to join a group.
There is no cost to join this group.
Group:
Someplace Random VIPs: Sl’s finest ladies enjoying sl’s hottest male entertainers!

You are being invited into the group’s role: VIP.
Tell me, what made you think I want to be a part of this?
Unless these hot males are taking me shopping and spending their L$ on me or can carry on a conversation without innuendos (is that too big of a word for you?), then I won’t be enjoying them! I – DO – NOT- WANT – TO – BE – PART – OF – YOUR – GROUP.

This does not mean I “play for the other team”. It simply means I do not get my jollies from cartoons nor do I wish to. Get over your avatar, already.

Yes, I did click DECLINE.
Don’t whine to me about your right to spam, excuse me, “invite” anyone you want to a group because I will just whine right back out my right to not be bothered by your unwelcome deviant spam.

So why has Bridget not posted! I have been waiting for’like’ever so I wouldn’t have two in a row. Teach her to take her time. I get more space and she just has to get over it (or ummm…right, maybe not get over it. But well….)

Ssssoooo class, what will we learn today? We’ve discussed the in’s and out’s of relationships and Bridget gave us the dirt on the friends list. I guess we could discuss the art of cleaning inventory. Yeah..what the hell….here we go:

Art of cleaning inventory:

1. Get alt and transfer all possible items that you do not use, have not used or do not ever plan on using but have pack-rat tendency to said alt. (brilliant move with step one is to lose password so you can never access these items again unless your brain suddenly kicks in at 3am in the morning)

2. Delete everything else in your inventory.

3. Pay for some mighty linden dollars.

4. Go shopping and begin again.

Ssssooo painless and yet we make such a huge deal out of it! Really, how hard can this be? Granted, follow steps 1-4 and you’ll live to regret it (especially that lose the password part….just trust me on this) but over all inventory cleaning is easy. Takes a bit of time and determination, here’s your basics (unless you like those previous steps but don’t IM me if it all goes to pot on you):

DELETE DELETE DELETE! Come on…like you need that astronaut avatar that you never wore cause it had a shoe for a head. Get rid of it!

What you cannot delete, box up. All those outfits you simply cannot part with because you used to like them (really, what were you thinking anyway?). Rez a box to the ground, move them all into said box and take box back to inventory. Your now a proud of owner of one box with a gazillion outfits you’ll never wear again versus all those gazillion pieces floating around your inventory. Ok, so it’s gonna hurt if you open that box, but really! What are the chances of that? Take it one more step further and rez yet another box and put all your boxes into that box. Then take the box and now your down to just one box! Guess what…if you like spheres, same concept applies! Triangle your thang? Get therapy, but again it will work!

Last but not least…stop freebie shopping! Your not new anymore and you don’t need that! Put it down and walk away! That’s right, slowly back up and out of the freebie area. Take it easy…no one is going to come between you and that extra special freebie car. Fine..take it, but when your inventory starts to get out of control again, I don’t want to hear about it!

disclaimer transfer items to a friend and expect an orbing. Especially this friend. I am not your freebie tart keeper and that big bouncy ball, although cool…does not belong in my inventory. Get an alt and not one of mine! end disclaimer

Imagine if you will the setting: You have entered that fabulous nightclub that you have never been to before. You glance across the room and suddenly feel as if you have been hit by a ton of bricks in the chest. Your eyes start to water as you quickly right click and send that first giggling IM that reads “Hi!” Your heart races as you see he is typing back and a great conversation follows. You have just officially fallen into Slove! Now that you have him, how exactly do you plan on keeping him? Easy Peasy they say and you shall too…learn, live and love ladies:

Step One:

Probably the most important step any girl will ever make when starting out a new relationship with the SLguy of her dreams. Makeover! That’s right….it’s a visual world and he needs to fit your vision! Who cares if he likes those sneakers that are three sizes too big and come from “newbie world” and it certainly doesn’t matter that he has spent the last year with hair down to his bum. It’s what you want that is most important and if you bat your eyelashes, stomp your feet and insist he will be better for it. Any guy worth his xcite part will rush to please you. Paying for it all himself of course because why would you even offer? Your not wearing the stuff! Be prepared and accidently teleport him into your favorite boutique and drool over the latest release. Mention two or three times with heavy sighing that you will have to wait to purchase it. Before a blink can be had, the outfit will be yours. Remember, the more money he spends on you, the greater he is! Don’t fall for the mushy note-cards full of sweet nothings….or hand made necklaces. He must prove he loves you and buy, buy, buy!

Step Two:

Now that he is pixelated hotness defined based on your standards, every girl will want him for her own. Who cares if she has been partnered for the last three years, she will want him anyway. What can a girl do about this? Never leave his side of course! If you do, make sure you talk to your best friend you just met yesterday and convince her to record his every movement when your not around. Have a checklist ready and make sure she notes if he spoke to a girl, laughed with a girl or worse…danced with a girl! Even if it happens to be his best friend from goo-hair days, cause you know…she is the triple threat. Who cares that he picked you as his slmate and she never thought of him as more then a brother. That has all changed and now she wants him like she wants that new outfit he just bought you. In fact, it’s common knowledge now (thanks to a bit of rumors started by you) that she wants to be you! She must be stopped at all costs, read on to step three to find out how!

Step Three:

Make open chat remarks that only she will get. Cut her down to size, let her know the prim hair she bought makes her head look big or the outfit she is wearing make her ass look huge. Don’t be afraid to get her where it hurts and tell her the skin she picked out makes her look like someone who just came through a avatar grinder. Doing this is rather easy, but you must take care to never make it seem like you mean any harm. Say things like “Oh, Samantha, I love that new hair on you! I tried on the demo, but it I just didn’t like how the bangs made everyone’s face look fatter” or my special favorite “Yes, that dress is lovely on you. I especially like how it accentuates and draws attention to your bum. I could never wear such a thing, but you pull it off so well!” Trust me, she will not only appreciate your thoughtfulness but will also give you all the space you need with your new man.

Step Four:

Occasionally make yourself off line to him and teleport to where he is at. If you dare catch him in the act of flirting or *gasps* dancing with another girl, you must immediately state in open chat that you want your man back and at the same time, hop on a dance ball. After he begins dancing with you, let those catty little remarks fly. One of the best is “I never did like that *enter name of dance he was previously on*, it always makes a girl look like she is desperate for attention.”

Step Five:

Now that you have managed to alienate him from all his friends, you have his undivided attention and he will be yours forever. Really, what choice does he have?

*smiles sweetly and points to the next step*

Step Six:

You have officially just managed to twist, warp and ruin any possible chance of having a successful relationship. Congratulations to you! Now, run off and cry to anyone willing to listen how much of a jerk he was when he dumped you and how you are completely heart broken.

I would like to say my work here is now done, but would I leave the unbalanced readers in such a state of confusion? Well, yes…technically I would. However, Bridget still has stalker rights and would orb my ass in a heartbeat. So I will leave you with a few words of wisdom that will help you keep that man of your dreams and not lose him:

I’ve said it before and I will say it again….respect ladies! Do you want him making you over? Of course, not…your vain and how could he not think your pixelated self is cute, adorable and sexy! Well then don’t do it to him. Would you like to be alienated from all your friends or have to choose between that best guy friend you’ve had since goo-hair days and your new SLove….who would? So why would you put him through that agony?

Really, this could go for both men and women in SL who are seeking a partnership. You fell in love with each other for many reasons. Remember those reasons otherwise you will be that person who goes from relationship to relationship crying “wwwhhyyy mmmeeee” over and over again.  And in all honesty?  That gets old really quick, for everyone.

disclaimer: Nah…not gonna bother. End disclaimer

Step one:

Make sure you always start a conversation off with “Hey Baby!” If you can add in “Wanna go to sexsimgetlaidisland” your chances for meeting your lifetime mate will be even further along! Seriously, the ladies love this crap! They live their entire SLives waiting for just the right guy to come along and whisper that special sweet nothing into their ears and sweep them off their feet.

Step Two:

Take the girl poseball shopping and not the dance place either. What girl seriously wants romance, candles and a setting sun on V7 at a beach when she can be hitting sexgen beds wiht your newly muscled pixelated self? Aim high and go find that special poseball that offers animations that one has never even heard of out in the real world. Be unique and brave!

Step three:

Be original, confess your undying love to her the second or third day into the relationship. That’s right…don’t worry about being friends or finding out the likes/dislikes. Go right for the gusto and be in slove! Who needs friends anyway when you have llloovvveeee!

Step four:

Stalking. Yes, I said it…stalking. This is probably one of the most important steps in partnering. You must stalk her everywhere! Show up randomly at her favorite hangout, teleport in as she is changing into that leather! Make sure you are right there at any given moment so she does not have room to breath anything but you. She will adore you for years to come. How do you do this, you ask? Well duh! Do I have to each you everything? Give her stalking rights with a sheepish grin that she will never need to use because in return, she has given you rights and you use it enough for the both of you! See how simple that is?

Step four:

Approximately three weeks into the relationship, decide you are no longer in slove. How does one go about this? The ways are limitless I tell ya! Limitless! You’ll have to use your imagination on this one, just remember to be creative and make sure you totally ruin her world. She will be appreciative and bounce back after a few months.

Last and final step:

Find the next victim…I mean girl and go back through the steps outlined above.

Now that you have learned how to partner, go forth….find that girl and make her yours. There is one just waiting for you around the corner! I promise!

*smirks knowing someone is gonna get a orb before they even finish step one*

Ok….fine, ya’ll want some serious “how to’s” on partnering in SL….don’t do any of the above. I am assuming at least one reader has made it this far and not run off to the grid in attempt to get face slapped by the first girl they try my wisdom on. You don’t even have to partner to remember the one and only most important rule ever! It’s rather simple and boils down to respect. Both for yourself and the person you claim you are in slove with. Without it, you have nothing.

disclaimer: previously offered wisdom comes from the unbalanced who enjoys great laughs, orbing, poseball shopping for kicks, personal space and the ability to not be found at times. end disclaimer

You find yourself saying, out loud, in real life “WHAT?!?!” Then you rush over to the friends list and open it as if it will say “Hahaha! She was here and you missed it!” As if it will suddenly send you a note card reading
“Dear Avatar (because that’s what new scripts say, no?),
I am randomly hiding people from you so must live your miserable virtual life in confusion when I let you see them log off. It is my personal form of sadistic entertainment.
Sincerely,
Your Friends List”

This is wrong. I have had enough of this friends list frustration. I’ve had enough of it showing me the person who logs in and out 15 times in a 30 second period when I am in a conversation yet won’t show it when nothing and no one is around. I am sick of it hiding people I talk to the most, yet showing me Avatar and Avatarette Who logging in for the first time in 3 months. I am done with it. I say we rebel! I say no more! I say we clear out our friends list of those pesky habitual relogers! Remove those that you haven’t talked to since the days of freebie clothes and slider hair. And if that’s not enough, I say we no longer let the cruel friends list see it gets the better of us. That’s right, when you are bored to tears and refusing to return to real life, go ahead and send an offline to your friends. You might find they are really there……

Reading her post and taking her lead (done often, but rarely admitted), I’m Misty.  I would say the meaner half of the equation, but Bridget can certainly hold her own.  Let’s just say I can be the more out-spoken, bratty and slightly chaotic one.  Or not.  Your call.  You’ll figure us out eventually.  Let’s just say I am nice, sweet and enjoy orbing on occasion and rarely bite unless provoked.

When we came up with the idea of this blog, we really had no idea what we were going to do with it.  So prepare for a ride!  Bumpy at times, always amusing and slightly insane but definitely entertaining.  If you enjoy us, feel free to link, leave comments or whatever it is you feel you must do.  But be warned, even if she *points to the post below her* does not argue back, I will. *cackles*

Okay, we don’t really have a show, but we can be enteraining if you are easily entertained.

So, um, let’s see….
My name is Bridget. I am called by various forms of this: Bridg, Bridge, Brid (even Bird at times) and other B names that shall not be mentioned at this time. You’ll meet Misty soon (hint hint, Misty).

If you came here to read something nice and flowery, you’ll want to go on to the next page. Right now, my first official post is indeed a whine fest (Misty’s personal favorite. See, you whine and she gets to orb you, hence the personal favorite… however, you can’t orb on a blog, so I get to whine.)

I was calmly working on getting this blog set up with SecondLife running in the background. I get a call to role play. I avoid it since I am working. After a (long) while, rp is still going. I am too sllazy to change my clothes and hair and boots for rp. So, I decide (with encouragement) that I will just log out and come back as my alt (created just for rp on this sim – and it is known that she is my alt so no slamming, flaming or whatever else you want to call it about having alts. Hear?) So, I hit the X, click the quit, then move my mouse over to the sl-short cut and click. I wait for the log in screen to load… and wait… and wait….
I hit the X again and find myself waiting… and waiting… and waiting….
Repeat this process about 4 or 5 times.
At some point I did get a partial log in screen, but not enough to actually log in.
Now I have an email saying I missed it all. *whine*
I guess I should have either kept avoiding the call to rp or gone through the wardrobe change.

Do you ever find it easier to just alt rather than change… or is it just me?